The Perfect Plan
by VampireApple
Summary: "Excuse me, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"


A/N: A small idea that took root, and became much longer than I thought it would be. Ah well. Please enjoy.

Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who, Carebears, My Little Pony, or Stretch Arm Strong

Donna sighed in annoyance. The Doctor was being even more insufferable than usual. It was probably because the last planet they saved crowned him king. Silly little Carebear aliens, didn't they know the Doctor's head was already too big?

Now they were on another planet in need of saving. Donna wasn't even sure what they needed saving from. Oh, there was another race trying to take over, but as for the actual plot, she had no idea. The Doctor was strutting around, spouting off technical babble in that way of his. She suspected that half of it truly was gibberish, and he was just trying to impress the locals with long, fancy words.

"Come, Donna! We must triangulate the bla-blah-blah, so that the thingie won't combust and set off a chain reaction to whoo-ha the do-dad!" The Doctor exclaimed as he bounced again. The locals, who looked a lot like the My Little Pony toys wooed and awed appropriately.

Donna rolled her eyes and followed.

The Doctor took out his sonic screwdriver and was buzzing and bleeping everything in sight, and rolled around trying to look incognito, all the while failing miserably. Donna trailed behind him, walking slowly and admiring the architecture. For being horse-like, they really had skilled workers. Great detail too. Finally they reached their destination. Or, at least, Donna assumed it was their destination. The Doctor was crouched behind some crates and muttering to himself.

"Donna! Donna!" The Doctor whisper-yelled.

"What dumbo?"

"Keep your voice down, and come here, they might see you!"

Donna obligating moved next to the Doctor. From this vantage point she could see what looked like a Stretch Arm Strong guarding a door. "So, what's the plan?"

"Well, the blah-blah is about to go boom and gadget is in yahoo-land so-"

"Oi! Speak English, Spaceman!"

The Doctor frowned and looked at her for the first time since they came to the planet. He started scanning her with the screwdriver "Donna, the TARDIS should translate everything for you, if its not then-"

"Don't make me hit you."

"What?"

"Doctor, tell me what needs to happen, right now, or so help me, the rest of your life will not be pleasant."

The Doctor stared at her open mouthed before pointing and saying "We need him to move so we can get in that door."

"There, that wasn't so hard, now was it? What have you got so far?"

The Doctor launched into a complicated explanation that Donna didn't even bother to listen to after three seconds. She looked back at the Stretch Arm Strong guard. He really did look tough. There was no way to over power him, and it didn't look like the Doctor would be able to use his words. A distraction would only bring more of them… Ah! She had the perfect idea.

Donna reached into her pockets and pulled out a glass bottle and a rag. Timelord clothes really were brilliant. She never had to carry around a bulky purse again.

She walked casually up to the guard, pouring the liquid into the rag as she went. When she spoke the Doctor looked up. "Excuse me, but does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

The guard actually leaned in to smell the rag. Donna shoved it up against his face, and pushed him against the door.

"Donna!" The Doctor yelped. He jumped over the crates and sprinted over to her. By the time he got there, the guard was on the floor. "Donna! What have you done? You've killed him! No, no, no, no! Donna, how could you have done this?" He spun around in a circle, messing up his hair.

"Doctor. Doctor. Oi! Stupid Spaceman!"

The Doctor froze.

"He's not dead. I just knocked him out."

The Doctor looked at the guard. "He looked dead."

Donna rolled her eyes. "Go sonic him if you don't believe me" the Doctor wasn't that stupid, so he didn't "I used chloroform on him."

"Chloroform? What is that?"

"It's a medicine that doctors used on patients who needed to go under for surgery."

"Where is it from?"

"Earth."

He stared at Donna. "Right, well, back to the plan. The thing-a-ma-bob is-"

"Hold it sunshine!" Donna cut him off. "I don't want to here another complicated explanation. I want you to calmly and quietly go and save this planet. No more showing off, not more spouting off explanations that may or may not be true. No jumping, bouncing, shouting or flirting. You are saving this planet, then you are talking me to a spa. And you're staying with me this time. And while we are there, you are forbidden to talk about anything technical. Got it?"

"Donna, what-"

"If you don't, I'm going to chloroform you, and I'm taking the TARDIS for a spin myself. Understand now?"

Mutely he nodded his head.

"Good. Now, I'm going back to the TARDIS to find a good spa planet." She turned and walked away. "Remember, calm and quiet!"

The Doctor stared at her while she walked away. "I will never understand that woman. At least life is never boring with her." He shook his head and went to do Donna's biding.


End file.
